As some folk know, I cook. Not often (about once a year), but when I do, it’s … interesting. I make up every recipe, often while walking around the store. It’s always a complete experiment, and each time I do it I tend to find something that’s mind-blowingly good.

Today’s meal was 8 hours of cooking, 200$ in groceries (for 5 people) (not including wine) and 4 hours of prep last night.

We should have taken pics, but it was a very interesting meal. Below are my recipe notes. Things don’t end up getting made quite like I plan, but they should give some idea of direction if you’re interested in trying some of this out.

Funkified Fruity Ham (note: this didn’t rock as much as I’d hoped)
PREP

Peel pears
* Core pears
*  Pastify pears
* Pastify strawberries
 Pastify mangos

COOK

 Place tinfoil on bbq
 Place ham in row, flat, on tinfoil
 Spread pear paste over one “end” of ham
 Fold ham
 Spread Strawberry paste over next end of ham
 Fold ham
 Spread mango paste over next end of ham
 Roll ham up
 Brush with funky honey
 Seal tinfoil
 Cook on BBQ

FINAL

Slice ham into thin, long, slices

Rawking Grilled Cheese
PREP

Slice ends off bagels
Brush on jalapeno’d honey glaze to bagels
Crispify bagels
Sliceify cheese
Chop up parsley

COOK

 Place bottom half of bagel on bbq/frying pan
 Put cheese slices on bagels
 Sprinkle parsley on bagel
 Put top on
 Bake/fry/bbq til cheese is melted and happy
 Brush on spicy honey

Mangofied Chicken
PREP

Slice peppers (thinly)
Marinate peppers in honey
Slice mangos (thinly)

 COOK

 Place tinfoil on BBQ
 Layer mango on tinfoil
 Layer chicken on mango
 Spice chicken
 Layer mango on top of chicken
 Sprinkle honeyed peppers throughout
 Seal tinfoil
 Cook til ready

Your Sauciness is so Appealing
PREP

* Chop some mushrooms
* Chop some funky mushrooms

COOK

 Warm milk
 Add dijon sauce
 Add mushrooms
 Add wine
 Add some spicy honey
 Somehow get it to right consistency (flour)

The Pastification of Misses Jones
PREP

 Open wine
 Let the wine breathe
 Slice regular mushrooms

COOK

 Pour ickle bit of wine in frying pan
 Put pasta in frying pan
 Fry pasta
 Pour more wine in frying pan
 Add mushrooms
 Add spices

 Shrooms in the Garden
PREP

Chop parsley
Crush nuts

COOK

 Make paste out of remaining funky mushrooms (add dijon sauce and/or milk for consistency)
 Add parsley
 Add nuts

More than the Sum of its Parts
PREP

 Put pasta on plate
 Place chicken on top
 Place mangos from chicken on chicken
 Place jalapenos around chicken
 Place grilled cheese on plate
 Place funkified ham on plate
 Sprinkle parsley on funkified ham
 Put paste around ham

 So what really worked this time? The “spicy honey” was amazing. The jalapenos were totally edible and delicious. We brushed spicy honey on the raisin bread (substituted for bagels) before the crispification stage AND on the BBQ (note to self: honey burns fast on the BBQ!). The sauce + dijon + som garlic was… omg, so many layers of taste. And the seared pasta rawked. Oh, and the mangoes (which weren’t ripe) after being on the BBQ with the spicy honey and jalapenos just about made my heart stop.

Not everything was perfect, partially cause we had more folk than planned and partially cause my back was killing me so my attention to detail lagged at the end. Specifically the pasta + sauce + chicken thing wasn’t as fab as it could have been together. Everyone was happy, but I wasn’t because there were fewer layers of taste the way I did the combo than each item had individually. I think one of my issues was just too many things involving mushrooms, specifically the mushroom paste. I ended up compensating too much for it, which drove away other tastes.

One of the other issues is that it takes me so long cause I’m experimenting too much. I probably could have done it with 1 hour of prep and 2 hours of cooking/assembly.

Either way, this (along with working) was my Sunday. For my dads 56th birthday party. Mostly he just loves watching me “make art” (his words). Plus, my dad’s amazing, so anything that makes him happy makes me happy… even if I’m not totally happy with the result ;-)