Ensight – Jeremy Wright

I’m sure everyone’s seen the new Darth Vader 20 questions. So, instead of just announcing it, I thought I’d really try and push him.

Let’s see if he knows (or, hell, if I even do) what a blogger is. Shall we?

Animal / Vegetable / Mineral: Animal
Is it small: No (I should have put yes, I think)
Does it have claws: Depends
Does it have tough skin: Depends
Is it tall: Yes
Does it make something move: No (though I was stumped by this one)
Does it live in grasslands: Depends (though, admittedly, not often)
Can you eat it? Yes (though it has no nutritional value… bloggers are like the McDonald’s of writers)
Does it live in the forest? Depends (though I’m not sure it’s visited this natural habitat for years)
Can it swim? Yes (through links?)
Does it live in large populations? Yes
Is it involved in movies? Yes (hmmm @ “involved”)
Can you see it in a zoo? Yes
Can you buy it? Yes (though, admittedly, this is a recent development… kinda like being able to buy a monk)
Is it dangerous? Yes (relatively speaking)
Does it come in many varieties? Yes (I think he’s getting closer…)
I’m thinking it’s a bison. (okay, maybe not) No.
Does it have a long tail? Yes (lofl)
I’m thinking it’s a bull. (… full of maybe…) No.
I’m thinking it’s a longhorn. No (though there ARE longhorn bloggers… if his next guess is that he thinks it’s a tablet, I’ll kick myself in the head)
Is it black and white? (uhhh… how do I answer this without offending someone? … I’ll answer maybe) Maybe
Is it a type of cat? No (though that’d be fun)
Does it like to play? Yes (
Can you hold it? Yes (do you want to though?! Who holds a blogger?)
I’m thinking it’s an akita. No (So close darth! You go boy!)
Is it usually colorful? Yes (but at the same time, usually boring… it’s a rare mix in a species… Kinda like usually being fat, but also really good at basketball)
I’m thinking it’s a pitbull terrier. (pffft… Not THAT colorful!) No
Is it water-based? (erm… how the hell do I answer this? I think I’ll say no… I know all those “pool bloggers” will be upset, but piss on them (please)) No.
I’m thinking it’s a bodice. (roflofl) No.
I’m thinking it’s a python. No (poor darth)

Ooooh! HE GAVE UP!!! You suck darth!!!!! Bwaaaahhhh…

His final question:

Is it one of these?
- A macaw
- An Alaskan malamute
- A garter snake
- A snake
- A mustang (horse)
- Have it your way
- A human head (whoa… SO CLOSE!)
- Other

I selected “Have it your way”.

Poor Darth. How can DARTH VADER not know what a blogger is? Aren’t we causing disturbances in the force? This is specieism. Bastard.