Feb 28 2005

How to Make a Million Dollars

Category: General — Jeremy Wright @ 12:43 pm

From an IM conversation with a genius friend of mine:

Mike@Home/Work says:
So, how are we going to make our million this week?
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Pencil sharpeners.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
They’re very versatile.

Mike@Home/Work says:
Excellent.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
You can sharpen pencils with them, extract ink from pens and even use them as torture devices.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
VERY versatile. I’m sure we can kick up a market in Afghanistan.
Mike@Home/Work says:
And the mafia can use them to dispose of snitches.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Exactly.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Then next year we can release a grinder, which is basically a timesaving version of the pencil sharpener. With custom decals for each crime family.

Mike@Home/Work says:
Sweet
Mike@Home/Work says:
Well we have to hurry, I only have 2 more years to make a million by 30.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
And, obviously, we can make a killing on maintenance plans.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Nobody wants to clean that mess, so we should be able to charge 10K/cleaning, give or take.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Privacy being the key.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Heck, maybe we can actually talk to West Coast Customs, and get a nice sports car decked out with a grinder, and sell it to the highest bidder.

Mike@Home/Work says:
Ooh, very nice.
Mike@Home/Work says:
It should be easier to make a million.

Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Well, it’s fairly easy if you switch currencies.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Like, yen for example.

Mike@Home/Work says:
Of course, given inflation, someday it will be.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Oooh, isn’t currency driven by supply and demand?
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
So if we buy ALL THE MONEY in the world, we the value of it will grow!
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Then we sell it back for a healthy profit!!!

Mike@Home/Work says:
And all we have to do is borrow enough money for a short time to buy it all!
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Exactly!
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
I mean, we’d really only need it for a week or so. So the interest shouldn’t be too bad.
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
I’ll call Luigi, see if he can hook me up.

Mike@Home/Work says:
Man we are geniouses!
Jeremy @ Ensight says:
Exactly. And this is getting blogged

Mike@Home/Work says:
Muahaha!
Mike@Home/Work says:
How could you reveal our plans like that?

5 Responses to “How to Make a Million Dollars”

  1. Jon Berg says:
    February 28th, 2005 at 3:30 pm

    You are really on a blogging roll today…. You should see how many post you can manage to make in a day. Each at least 50 words.

  2. Jeremy C. Wright says:
    February 28th, 2005 at 3:35 pm

    Thankfully they’ve all been high quality, informative, useful and personal ;-)

  3. chrispian says:
    February 28th, 2005 at 3:53 pm

    I hate to burst your bubble, but I’ve already cornered your target market. Potatoe peelers do all these jobs and more.

    For starters, a pencil sharpner has no real value as a torture device. Anything you could stick into one would be too small to miss. However, a potatoe peeler on the other hand can really do up the job right. And in a pinch it can even sharpen pencils, be used as make shift bottle opener, screw driver, fingernail dirt remover and yes, even peeling potatoes.

    So the race for a million dollars is on my friend.