Okay, I’ve now been playing Halo 2 for one day (not straight, I was sick today, which was no fun).

And, already, I’ve got pet peeves. Not with the game so much. The game rocks. No, with the people who play the game. Here are some types of folk I hate:

The Battering Ram: This is someone who insists on doing nothing but driving around trying to run people over. In a game of capture the flag this is not, I repeat not, incredibly useful. The driver also loves to tell everyone in the game about every single kill, squish, blammo or whatever. Yay you, you go boy.

The Unsniper: Let’s face it: some people are amazing snipers. In every game. Snipers rule because they can really balance a game out. The Unsniper, though, is someone who thinks they’re a sniper but actually lack any skills, leet or otherwise. They can often be seen wandering around in the middle of the open area with their sniper rifle zoomed in to maximum (at least I assume this is why they keep running into things…).

The Mouse: The mouse is someone who simply wants to explore every level. Typically while yelling “I’m being hit, I’m being hit!!!!!!!!!” … Typically it’s their teammates taking potshots though, as The Mouse is often known for simply running away from battles to find “more interesting spots”. Sadly for The Mouse’s teammates, Halo 2′s multiplayer levels have dozens of “more interesting spots” each. The Mouse will make his teammates wish they were playing Blood Gulch in Halo 1.

The “Englishman”: I’ve already run into this personality type twice. It’s someone with a name like “King of England” (really), but who doesn’t speak any English. Let me state one simple fact: if you’re Russian, you can’t be the King of England! You also can’t be the King of England if you can’t speak English!!! I have nothing against non-English folk playing any game. But when you don’t know English and are pretending to the best of your ability that you do… Well, here are a few choice strategy calls this individual made “Yeah, I roll the head!” and “You smoke!” … Maybe if I did smoke this person would also have played better. But I don’t, woe is me.

The Linguist: The Linguist is someone who loves to talk, when they have something to say. They won’t answer your questions, likely due to their superior intellect. They will, though, be sure to correct any grammatical mistakes their teammates make. Of course, since they don’t answer questions, calls of “what the hell is your bloody problem” and “there are more important things going on right now than if someone is making mistakes with their English” go completely unheeded. Good times.

I’ll add to this list as I come across more folk. However, this ain’t bad for less than 4 hours of multiplayer play.