I’ve addressed this several times before, but my perspective keeps changing. Let me review some of my past thoughts before I get into where I’m at now. More than a year ago I wrote a piece that got a little attention (one of my first that got any attention). Want A Job.

The main concept is simple. Instead of scouting around for any job you can get and applying for anything even vaguely resembling what you are looking for, you sit down and figure out what you want and who you want to do it for.

So a company tells you who they are, what they’re looking for, gives you contact info on teammates and lets you figure out where they’re at, problems they’re encountering and ways you can fit into the team to help out.

I then thought of a new way of interviewing. Be given the opportunity to present yourself for a job, and then have a half hour question and answer session.

Obviously the two of these go together nicely.

Near the end of the year I sat down and thought about what I wanted about a job:

1. A challenging environment
2. A stable work environment
3. An appreciative work environment
4. To make ‘enough’ money

I’ve thought about what kind of leader I am, wanting a job and I even realised that Microsoft was one place I would absolutely love to work.

Over the last few days I’ve been feeling … Dissatisfied at work. I write this knowing that a lot of my colleagues read this blog. I write this knowing my manager reads it. Thankfully I’ve already talked to him about this. I’m not writing this piece to badger on about work. I’m trying to figure out just what I’m looking for, and the fact that I’m not happy at work provides some food to chew on.

Obviously when I look at my above list of 4 items, my current job doesn’t really provide any of them. It’s not really challenging in a positive sort of way, the environment isn’t stable (no risk of getting fired, but to me “stable” is more than that). The people I work with are great, but the management structure and corporate attitude aren’t such that there’s really a risk / reward for stuff. Do a great job, ah well. And the money… Well, I’ll be looking for a raise before the end of the year because I’m no longer doing the work of a Junior Server Admin. At all.

Reading back through some of my older entries I found a link in one of the comments to a piece by David St Lawrence which talks about what he wants out of a job:

1. Once I am established, the job must pay me enough to live and meet my obligations.
2. The work must produce an ethical product or service.
3. Superior performance must be recognized and acknowledged.
4. There should be a rational and understandable command structure.
5. There should be clear objectives for me to meet.
6. There must be a way to gather information in order to do the job well. Any problems with this and I end the interview quickly.
7. There must be a minimum of toxic individuals in the immediate workplace.

I feel like this list is actually more concise than mine because it highlights some of my frustrations specifically. It doesn’t pay enough. Performance isn’t recognized. There is no clear command structure. I have no clear objectives. There is no way to gather information beyond my normal means and there is a larger than normal amount of toxic structure.

Apparently I didn’t choose this job very well at all. Or maybe things changed.

Either way I have to ask myself if it’s the company, if it’s the team, if it’s the job or if it’s me that’s causing the dissatisfaction in these areas.

…

Yesterday I was sick. Home sick. I wasn’t feeling incredibly ill, but definitely needed a day for my body to do whatever it was doing which caused me to be practically unable to walk. At the end of the day I had to say goodnight to my little baby boy. And I apologized to him that daddy couldn’t be home with him like that every day.

It’s not that I played with him for hours on end, but I saw him throughout the day. Said hi. Gave him kisses. Told him I loved him. Made him laugh. Played a bit here and there. Gave him cuddles… I was a dad to him throughout a good portion of the day, but at the same time realising that I had enough “me” time that I could, actually, work at home and get enough accomplished without interrupting my work too much by being a dad on occasion.

It was an overpowering desire to just be at home and work.

No, I didn’t quit my job. No, I didn’t suddenly incorporate Jeremy’s A Dumbass, Inc. But it was shocking. Because it was new.

And in being new it’s causing me to think. Yeah, I’d still absolutely love to work at Microsoft. But, is “working at” somewhere what I really want right now? After all, the key to working at Microsoft is being the right person for the right job on the right team at the right time. I’d always thought that meant Microsoft’s time. But maybe right now it’s not the right time for me.