Feedback Wanted: Starting Blogging Again

Posted by Jeremy Wright in From My Life, Work, Writing on May 12th, 2009

As anyone who knows me knows, over the last few years my blogging has slowed down from roughly 10 posts a week to roughly 10 posts a year. Most of this is due to all of my free time being sucked up by b5media. And another chunk is because I do most of my communicating, ideas, networking on Twitter. But some of it is because I simply didn’t have any inspiration for blogging.

Jay talking about facebook connect versus crea...
Image by Matthew Burpee via Flickr

A few weeks ago, over lunch with Jay Goldman he mentioned his 10×10 rule, which is basically: write out 10 ish big areas you’re interested in blogging about, and 10 ish ideas for each. That is your first 100 ish posts (though realistically you’ll have other ideas along the way), so it’s 2-4 months of blogging.

As you might expect, I decided to do the exercise just to see what happened. I’ve wanted to blog more for the last year, but lacked more than a post at a time. This would hopefully provide fodder for many posts over the coming months.

But I ran into a conundrum, because the topics were more diverse than I expected (at least the ones that excited me). Now the fitness/health stuff I’ve already decided to break off into a separate site, so it’s not on this list, but here’s what I’ve come up with:

  • Top entrepreneurs in canada interviews/profiles
  • Canadian company profiles
  • Running a blog network
  • Canadian VC firm profiles
  • Online advertising
  • Scaling a blog / media company
  • How to raise funding
  • Technical challenges of running a blog network / online media company
  • Ideas for thriving in a down  economy
  • Social media / new media tools we use at b5media
  • Interviews with bloggers I admire
Jeremy Wright - b5media - nextMEDIA
Image by tyfn via Flickr

I’ve put these into 2 big buckets: b5media CEO blog, and more of a journalism/startup kind of blog. Part of this is a deep desire to see Canadians gain more profile. As a country, we suck at tooting our own horns, so I’d like to take time to toot our collective horns for us. Part of it is also looking to help folk who were like me 4 years ago: knowing there were ways to scale their company but having no idea how or who to talk to or what the options were or who the people in the industry even were.

So I’m looking for some feedback, on a few specific questions (but feel free to give feedback overall):

  1. Should I keep Ensight a personal blog?
  2. Should I retire Ensight, cause it has so much history and just start fresh?
  3. Should the CEO stuff live here, if I am keeping it a personal blog, or somewhere else?
  4. Should I split the “media” stuff off?
  5. Should I split the “startup” stuff off?
  6. Should I split the Canadian journalism/entrepreneur stuff off?
  7. Would splitting the Canadian stuff off seem weird, given TechVibes/StartupNorth are already doing some of this (to varying degrees)?

And finally: are there other topic areas you’d like to hear me blog about?

I’m opening this up mostly because I could be happy going multiple ways, but I am a big believer in splitting topics up so that you feel less like a monolithic subject staring you in the face when you want to blog.

So, thoughts, questions, comments, concerns?

17 Comments

Comment Identity Theft (Or: No, I’m not THAT much of an asshole)

Posted by Jeremy Wright in General on April 6th, 2009

A comment left on a recent Wall Street Journal article was made by “Jeremy B5″. While initial readers clearly knew this wasn’t me, some folk have taken the comments to heart, so I wanted to both address the comment head-on, as well as talk about one of the core issues of commenting today.

First and foremost, this comment was not made by me. Anyone who knows me or has seen me comment would clearly know this for a few simple reasons:

  1. I always comment as me. Even when I later end up sticking my foot in my mouth or saying something stupid, I put my name beside it. I happily sign in with FaceBook Connect or similar services when possible so that folk know it’s me.  I don’t use psuedonyms, I don’t comment anonymously. And, hell, let’s be honest: if I did, I wouldn’t use a weird version of me to do it.
  2. Come on, CEOs don’t get their own company’s names wrong. While Word sometimes capitalizes “b5″ as “B5″ at the start of a sentence, I’m religious about getting it right. Hell, at b5 we actually have a plugin that rewrites all references and all misspellings we could think of to the right name (feel free to try it on an official blog, not sure I have the plugin running here). It’s “b5media” or “b5″. Not “b5Media”, “b5 media”, “B5Media”, “B5 Media” or any other variation. And, as my team  knows, if I’m going to combine “b5″ and “Jeremy”, I’ll do it as “b5jeremy”. Lowercase everything. I’ve, in the past, used terminology like b5ads, b5shirts, b5gear, b5ranch, b5tweetup, etc.
  3. The biggest reason is that this clearly isn’t how I think about the current situation or about Brightspark.

Mark and the team at Brightspark are completely professionals and, with their operational experience, some of the best VCs in the country. Not only do I believe Mark’s story that the reason they didn’t raise a fund was so they could focus on their internally incubated projects (probably not how he’d describe it, but y’know), I’ve heard from several LPs that they would have happily invested again (in case you’re wondering about ass kissing, several of these LPs have told me funds they wouldn’t invest in again - and then didn’t, so I believe them).

Brightspark no longer actively investing (they continue to support their portfolio companies, actively, including b5… and that support has been invaluable during these tough times because their operational background is critical to our success) is bad for Canada.

But, I’m excited for the future of what they’re doing, as them gaining more operational experience, especially online and media experience, will help dozens of companies should they return to VC (and I sincerely hope they do).

In short, the comment wasn’t made by me, doesn’t represent my views and and is completely unhelpful to the growth of startups in Canada.

6 Comments

Startup Lesson #1,218: Making the Tough Calls

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Business, b5media on March 31st, 2009

If there is one thing I’ve learned about Start-Ups is that every day is an adventure; sometimes not necessarily a good one but an adventure nonetheless. Even in the healthiest economies, with the perfect product, solid vision and a fantastic team, tough situations come up that require tough calls. Sadly, in spite of an amazing community and one of the best teams anyone could ask for, we’ve got those tough calls to make in order to ensure b5media survives and thrives.

The Backstory

Over the fall we restructured blogger pay as well as over the winter restructured our back office team Through it all we’ve worked hard to keep costs down, people focused and b5 growing.

Thankfully, these efforts, as well as our recent reorganization of our blogs into larger content sites (Bizzia for business, Splendicity for beauty & style, EveryJoe for men and Blisstree for Lifestyles) have resulted in growth on all fronts and by all measurements.  The team has been fantastic and the results speak for themselves. Our bloggers are great, the content is great, advertisers love it and, most importantly, our readers have responded with more page views, friend referrals, and some great complimentary emails, tweets, and blog posts of their own.

When we’d done the cost-cutting, we’d originally projected (in Q3 of 2008) the economy recovering late 2009, early 2010. We have a variety of trigger points, forecasts, and other tools we’ve been using to track all of this.  Armed with all this data, we no longer see our original plan as being a safe bet.  Given that there is nothing more important than b5’s long term growth, the management team decided to act now while we had plenty of cash, controllable costs, and (most importantly) time.

We decided to do what is rarely done; start at the top and protect the bloggers and the team as much as possible. It made no sense for the management team to sit around and cut bloggers, blogger pay, or the working team until every other penny was squeezed out of the system to extend the cash, keep the operational team rolling, and avoid harming the bloggers.

What’s Happening

Effective Tuesday, March 31st (no, this is not an early April Fools joke), there will be a significant restructuring of the b5media team, starting at the top.

First, I’ve cut my own salary to somewhat above minimum wage (by about 60%).  Salim Teja, our COO, and Jon Prosser, our VP Finance are both coming off the payroll. They are top talent and they worked the budgets and supported the right things for the company knowing that it meant bad results for them.  They have been amazing to work with and I’ve learned many things about true professionalism from these guys.  I know that both will find fantastic positions elsewhere because both are absolute rock stars.

In addition, this also involves laying off three of the non-management team. Each of these people has our full support in their journey going forward.

What This Means

Clearly this is a significant change. But the biggest part of this is that the investors, the team, and I continue to believe in the value of the network, the quality of our writers, and the value of the assets we have created over nearly 4 years of working on b5media.

By taking this path, we have extended b5’s runway to the point where we can ride out this economic storm with no capital requirements, headcount adjustments, etc. Providing our bloggers and our team with this protection and confidence was one of the central goals behind this change.

To reiterate, b5media continues to remain a healthy, growing and valuable business. We continue to retain the confidence and excitement of our investors, advertisers, team and partners. And while this is a significant change, we believe that by starting the change at the top we will be able to continue to serve our bloggers, advertisers, partners and investors for many years to come.

What This Means for Me

I’m still involved in b5media. I’m not leaving, nor have I quit, I’ve reduced my salary.  My first love, passion, and responsibility are to ensure the b5 family remains on the right track, continues to grow, while continuing to serve our bloggers, partners and advertisers.

Given the pay cut, though, I am considering writing a follow-up to Blog Marketing (which has sold incredibly well, and been translated into an amazing array of languages and resources over the last 4 years), since it’s become more than a little dated.  I’m also available for Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and the occasional car washing opportunity.

If anyone has any comments, questions, concerns, etc, feel free to leave a comment, drop me an email (jeremy@b5media.com) or give me a call (details on contact page).

28 Comments

#10morepounds - Week 2

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Fatblogging on March 30th, 2009

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series 10morepounds

Well, it’s now the start of Week  2 of #10morepounds! How’d you do?

If you answered this question with “I sucked, I binged, I didn’t work out enough, etc” then let me reboot your perspective. Did you do better last week than you would have done otherwise? Did you make healthier choices? Did you drinnk less pop? Did you get into the mindset of “healthy is better than giving into my urges”?

If so, then you’ve made huge progress this week, and you deserve a big pat on the back. I’d mail you one, but that’d be creepy ;-)

Marine of the United States Marine Corps runs ...
Image via Wikipedia

Week 1 Recap

To recap, the goals for week 1 were pretty simple:

  • Get started
  • Drink more water, eat smaller more frequent meals
  • Start some form of regular exercise, but nothing that’ll burn you out
  • Eat better, especially grapefruit, drink better (especially no pop)

Did you do these? How many? How often? Every step counts. Celebrate your victories!

How We’re Doing

Well, personally,  I’ve gone from 232 to 226, so 6 pounds in a week. I know most of that was water and that the real work starts NOW though!

Only a handful of people have reported in so far today (come on, report in y’all!), but weight loss so far is: 32 pounds!

New Participants

Here is a list of new participants (if I’m missing you or you want to join, let me know!):

Week 2 Goals

For week 2, we really just want to build on week 1. You probably weren’t perfect (not that perfect is the goal), so stepping up your food, spacing of meals, water, pop intake is all critical. Your eating habits are the ones you need to change most because they’ll have the biggest impact on your heart, health, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.

GLENDALE, CA - JANUARY 04: A bottle of Xenadr...
Image by Getty Images via Daylife

But, since our goal is weight loss, adding in some exercise will only accelerate that.

If you don’t have a regular exercise program, my recommendation is to build a “tiered” approach. The problem with doing something big like “go to the gym 3 times per week” is that it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed. By building a 3-tiered program, you’re able to feel like you’ve done 2/3 things or 1/3 things, instead of “pass/fail”.

The way I do this is the following:

  • Foundation: easy, regular, quick workouts 3x/week like 100pushup challenge, 200situps challenge, etc (Google if you don’t know what these are). I’ve recently added stretches to my mix. This takes 5-10 minutes per workout, so is easy to fit into your day.
  • Cardio: Cardio = life. It’s great for your heart. It’s HARD to start (ask @acowboyswife!), but so worth it. 20-30 minutes twice a week is huge, will increase your energy and make you feel great.
  • Sculpting: Some kind of toning, whether it’s yoga, weights, resistance training, etc. Getting this in 1-2 times per week is ideal.
Icon from Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x.
Image via Wikipedia

If you’re doing nothing now, start with the foundational stuff. Next week, add cardio. The week after, add some kind of sculpting.

By varying stuff, and doing multiple things, you’ll keep your body guessing, work different muscle groups and generally feel like you failed less.

Talk Back

Have thoughts, tips, etc? Comment so other #10morepounds folk can learn along with you!

Interested in Joining In?

Use the #10morepounds tag on twitter, comment or email me (jeremy@b5media.com)!

Some Useful Articles

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

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Twitter #10morepounds Community Weightloss Project: Week 1

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Fatblogging on March 23rd, 2009

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series 10morepounds

Over the last couple of months, my weight loss has stalled in the 225 pound range, down from 255 pounds ish. This morning the scale hit 229, and I decided it was time to step it up again. And what better way than to get a bunch of others involved, get some motivation and accountability going, and share tips/tricks/successes/failures?

So last night I started a new Twitter tag: #10morepounds for folk to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks.

I wanted to kick this off with some simple tips, tricks and thoughts for those who haven’t been in weight loss mode for the last year, or who just need a bit of an extra kick.

Swiss balls allow a wider range of free weight...
Image via Wikipedia

The Participants

Before I do, though, here are the participants (comment/tweet at me if you’re not on the list, or if you want your name to link to somewhere else like your webpage!):

How It Works

Alright, this is pretty darn simple:

  • 10 weeks
  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Every Monday take your weight, and state on twitter how much you lost (note for girls: not your actual weight, unless you went to)
  • Every Monday, I’ll post my tips and such. If you have any of your own, comment on one of the series posts!

Week 1 Tips

I’ve written a bunch about my weight loss tips, but since that’s old and there’s a lot of it and its overwhelming, here are some thoughts for simple things you can do now to kickstart your metabolism, drop some bad habits and start the hard stuff (like EXERCISING).

This photograph shows two pink grapefruits (Ci...
Image via Wikipedia

First, though, some basics:

  • The more water you drink, the more weight you lose
  • The more you split your meals up, and eat smaller portions throughout the day, the more weight you lose
  • The less grease and fast food you eat, the more weight you lose
  • The less pop you drink, the more weight you lose
  • The more grapefruit specifically, but fruit/veg generically, you eat, the more you lose
  • The more you keep your heart rate up for more than 10 minutes a day, the more weight you lose

If you do these things, you’ll lose weight. But more importantly, doing these things will probably break most of your bad habits, get your body processing food more efficiently and set you up for success over the next 10 weeks!

If you aren’t doing moost of the above, don’t even worry about the rest of the stuff below. It’ll just make it harder to remember everything. If you’re already most of the above, here are some more specific things I used to do, and now need to get back into the habit of doing!

  • Use programs such as 100pushups and 200situps to lay a foundation of daily exercise (I swap out between each program each day, as it works a different part of your body). Since we have 10 weeks, it’s perfect to get both programs done (since you’ll undoubtedly miss some weeks, do some weeks over, etc). Start today! Do them in the morning.
  • LONDON COLNEY, UNITED KINGDOM - MAY 24: Engla...
    Image by Getty Images via Daylife

    Do 20-30 minutes of cardio. Goal here is to sweat for 10 minutes. Walk if you’re out of shape, jog if you can, run with the dog, play frisbee, play football with your kids, play basketball… Just get out and do something. You can even just run up and down 2 steps in your house if you want. Just get the heart rate up for 5 minutes, then do something slightly more leisurely for a minute or two, then back at it again. Do this a couple of times a week.

  • Weigh yourself at the same point every day. Early morning, pre eating, post… erm, release is best.
  • Eat half a grapefruit every morning. Grapefruit covers a multitude of sins!
  • Do other kinds of workouts. Don’t have a gym? Use one of the hotel workout regimens out there.

Now Get To It!

You signed up to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks. It is TOTALLY doable. In fact, you’ll probably lose 2-4 pounds this week alone if you hit this. But you’ve got to keep it up for the whole 10 weeks.

And here’s the dirty little secret… If you do, you’ll be in the habit of all of this, and you’ll keep losing weight afterwards!

Talk Back

Have thoughts, tips, etc? Comment so other #10morepounds folk can learn along with you!

Icon from Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x.
Image via Wikipedia

Interested in Joining In?

Use the #10morepounds tag on twitter, comment or email me (jeremy@b5media.com)!

Some extra articles that MIGHT help (haven’t read them all, so I dunno!)

7 Comments

Would You, Could You, “Go Dark”?

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Business, Work on March 22nd, 2009

For the many natural introverts at SxSW last week, staying “on” for a full week was draining to say the least. Like Aaron, I’m a natural introvert. Many folk who don’t know me wouldn’t believe this. Folk like Aaron who do, get it. But trust me, I am. I’ve become more extroverted, but every personality profile will always label me an introvert - and for good reason: I recharge with quiet, I prefer small groups to large groups, and I get stressed in large groups where I don’t know folk (like, erm, southby).

So it comes as no surprise that Aaron’s contemplating the costs/benefits of “going dark”. His post, which I recommend you read before reading the rest of mine, really struck a chord with me. Having gone dark for a week in January, I can attest to its benefits and the social costs that Aaron mentions. But, I can also testify that it is oh so worth it!

I can see the benefits of going dark for 5-7 days to a whole slew of people, even ones who aren’t introverted. Things like just having space to contemplate, think deep thoughts, find yourself, plot your next steps in life, etc.

Could you unplug for a week? Why not? What would it take to make you able to do this?

User-Chaza93-Offline
Image via Wikipedia

If you could, would you unplug for a week? No cellphone, no internet outside of a “private” email address that your assistant/wife/etc has?

If you would unplug for a week, what’s stopping you?

Aaron and I have been bouncing around a few ideas about this, and I think we’ll  continue to. But I know I’d be interested in folks’ thoughts on going dark. The comments on Aaron’s post got bogged down on his celebrity or whether he should, and kinda missed the point.

Going dark is hard, but necessary for most folk (introverted or not). And while I’m not currently feeling the need, I bet by summer/early fall I will.

So if you could, if you would, what would it take for you to want to go totally offline for a week?

Let me know in the comments.

23 Comments

SxSW n00b, Day 1

Posted by Jeremy Wright in General on March 14th, 2009

Merlene Paynter is a SxSW n00b. She’s blogging her experiences to help you out, entertain you and make you seem smarter than you are when you chill @ southby. Say thanks in the comments.

Yesterday was my first day of my first SXSW. I’d been told by the seasoned SXSW pros not schedule myself for too many things. To remain flexible and go with the flow.

My day began with an early meeting and progressed from there into lunch with a few friends, which transitioned into a Tweet-up hosted by Jeremy Wright, then on to a party thrown by the Blue Sky Factory people. After an hour or so of mingling there we headed off to the Mix at Six party - by the time we got there the party was at capacity so rather than stand around in the rain waiting to get in we decided food might be a good idea before heading to the TechSet party a little later.  A nice dinner with some friends (both old and new) then on to the TechSet party which was fun but was so packed it was hard to talk to anyone.

My lesson after Day 1 - eating is good. Every party, every lunch, every dinner - seemed to involve a lot of alcohol and not a tonne of food. I’ve now learned it’s important to eat whenever and wherever you can. And an interesting thing happens when you do go to find lunch or dinner. You always wind up finding a bunch of friends who either got to the same place first or came in just after you. If you don’t see anyone you know? Just tweet your location and how good the food or cold the beer is. You’ll be surrounded by friends in no time.

And the sessions? Rumour has it there were sessions happening yesterday but I never made it to any. When you go with the flow - you usually just flow from party to party to party. Maybe I’ll make it to a sesson or two today but I wouldn’t count on it.

1 Comment

Aaron Brazell: Eat, Drink, Be Merry. Carefully

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Blogging, Business, Work on March 14th, 2009

This entry is part 7 of 7 in the series The Art of Rawking SxSW Interactive

This post is part 7 of a series, head over to the SxSW Interactive Tips page to read all of the posts in this series (in intended order).

From Aaron Brazell, AKA Technosailor

In 2007, Jeremy and I attended our first SXSW Interactive conference. At the time, we were both new b5media employees - as in, the company had just been funded, I had quit my “day job”, and we were both on an intense amount of business travel. For me, it was the first time in my life that I had done so much travel. Seriously, I flew maybe once a year if that. It certainly was a new world, attending conferences, meeting people. And certainly, it was before I achieved coveted rockstar status.

At SXSW, everyone is encouraged to drink. Serious, no one except rookies go for sessions. Pfffftt. No, it’s all about getting your drink on and meeting people. In fact, it can be sad at times. Socially awkward geeks trying to be sociable - not all of them, of course. Many don’t try to be sociable at all. :)

In 2007, Jeremy and I spent a significant amount of time with another blogger who was in town, and who we both knew. We had never spent any time with the guy - in fact, we only met him in person for the first time.

We started our ad hoc pub crawl down 6th street, stopping in several bars that had live music, downing rum and cokes and Shiner Bocks all the way. It was clear, within a few hours of drinking (moderately, by my standards, but excessively by others), that our blogger friend was having a hard time holding his alcohol. Before too long, he was stumbling down the sidewalk and we had to shoulder him to make sure he didn’t faceplant on the sidewalk.

Good times.

We managed to get the guy into a rickshaw cab (common in those parts of Austin) and paid the cabbie $100 to get him back to his hotel. Of course, the hotel was only two blocks away so the cabbie made some nice coin.

The moral of the story is: Pace yourself when drinking. You really don’t have to be drunk to have a good time and you could end up getting sick, hurting yourself or feeling like an idiot the next morning.

Other than that, enjoy yourself at SXSW!

dsc_1125-150x150Aaron is the founder and lead editor of Technosailor.com. He is a business and social media consultant and loves to see people reach their potential through the use of social media. There is an overlap between useful social media and personal and corporate outreach and brand. His writing seeks to highlight those areas where the two overlap and eliminate the noise that is present in covering the news and buzz surrounding web startups and social media.

Aaron has been involved in the web since early 2000 and has most recently served as the Director of Technology for b5media, a blog network. His background is in technology - web development, scalability and WordPress development.

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Eric Berto: SxSW Tips from a Geezer (Part 6)

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Blogging, Business, Work on March 13th, 2009

This entry is part 6 of 7 in the series The Art of Rawking SxSW Interactive

This post is part 6 of a series, head over to the SxSW Interactive Tips page to read all of the posts in this series (in intended order).

From Eric Berto AKA GeekGiant

Right now, a bunch of geeks are packing cords, cables and some extra socks before heading down to Austin for Geek Spring Break, also known as South by Southwest.

But one thing you can’t pack is a way to handle the overload of networking, parties, panels and new people you will encounter once you land. Sure, you can read about how to Hack SXSW or even an article to teach you how to network at SXSW, but you need to find out what will work best for you.

My advice is to treat it like summer camp. When we were kids, we went to summer camp to make new friends and learn stuff. But we didn’t have Twitter, iPhones or “tweetups.” Meet people new every day and cement those relationships while you’re out at night having a great time.

Smile and Say Hi

Treat every day at SXSW as a different adventure. Strive to meet new people each day. Spend the day learning about neat concepts and ideas. Spend the day walking the hallways of the convention center and smiling at people and saying hello. I have a natural advantage when it comes to meeting people since I’m of slightly above average height (OK, I’m 6′8″). So, when I walk down the hallway, people notice. For the rest of the world, a simple smile and hello go a long ways.

Take it Offline

Us über nerds are conditioned to shake hands, introduce ourselves and then ask what the other person’s Twitter handle is. Conversely, we have many relationships with avatars that become real at events such as SXSW. So, spend some time over morning coffee to have a chat with those contacts. Catch up and connect on a different level than a 140-character reply. Mornings are a great time for true, genuine networking. No loud music, smaller groups and fewer distractions. Capitalize on that focus to actually accomplish something.

Rinse, Lather Repeat

Last year’s SXSW was my first. I found out I was going about three weeks before and had no clue what I was getting into. I essentially closed my eyes and started talking to people. But something I learned was that it was OK to start the cycle over each day. Make new friends every day. Attend a party with a different group of people each night. Buy somebody different a coffee every day. Real-world networking is a lot like the online social networks. You only get out of it what you put in.

So, what are you going to put into SXSW this year? What are you going to take away from it? What merit badges will you earn?

eric_mugshotFor the past few years, Eric has been guiding corporate communications and public relations for a publicly traded company. Eric has guided successful product launches, secured numerous speaking opportunities and created a blogging strategy that was named as one of Inside CRM’s top 25 corporate blogs.

Eric utilizes his background in journalism and sociology to bring a people-powered approach to community engagement. As an award-winning former journalist, he brings an honest and in-depth approach to Public Relations and marketing.

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Party Crashing, Group Subversion and Social Survival Skills (Part 5)

Posted by Jeremy Wright in Blogging, Business, Work, b5media on March 11th, 2009

This entry is part 5 of 7 in the series The Art of Rawking SxSW Interactive

This post is part 5 of a series. Head over to the SxSW Interactive Tips page to read all of the posts in this series (new posts @ the bottom).

I was going to do today’s post as a parody of the Army’s Combined Warfar manual, but decided to instead play it straight.

Today’s post is all about the social side of southby. How to rawk parties, how to infiltrate groups and how to survive in a highly social situati. For the true introvert this can be about as comfortable as shanking yourself after getting an enema.

SxSW Social Norms

For the geek, introvert or simply those who aren’t used to large social situations, conferences can be challenging. Pressing the flesh, smiling, handing out business cards, getting into groups, these are new for many folk. So here is a brief explanation of the standard social atmosphere of SxSW. Ready?

Chillaxed

Here’s the thing, much like when you were a kid and you were scared of some small animal only to be taught it was more afraid of you than you were of it… Everyone at southby has been where you are now. Everyone empathizes. Everyone gets it.

So the social mood of southby is, quite simply open. People are there to meet folk. People are there to have fun. They are there to learn, to network, to get swag, to hang out, to bounce new ideas around and to just soak in the wonder that is the Temple of Geek. So if you too worship at said temple, you will surely be welcome!

To illustrate how truly strange this environment is, here are 8 things that probably aren’t normal but are normal at SxSW:

  1. Introducing yourself with just your first name
  2. Waiting until someone asks for your business card to give it to them (though it’s fine to just do it right up front, waiting gives you time to be witty about it)
  3. Having someone stop the conversation in order to send you an email, add you to twitter or tweet something you just said. Sad, but it’s become the norm to mix the online and offline words.
  4. Walk up to a group you don’t know and volunteer yourself to join them for lunch/party/bong
  5. Drag an unsuspecting n00b along to a party, lunch, drinks, etc
  6. Walk up to your favourite celebrity and ask questions, hangout, be cool
  7. Suddenly decide you’re going to throw a party and have 200 of your closest friends you never even met show up
  8. Ask a question and get a dozen fantastic answers

Unless you’re a total social butterfly and know everyone, chances are that being stuck in a room with 500 people pressed so close together you’re not entirely sure where your ass ends and someone else’s face begins isn’t your idea of a good time (and, erm, if it is… this is the wrong blog for you… I’d suggest going here).

So there are 5 key parts to rawking a party successfully:

  1. Jumping into a conversation
  2. Buying someone a drink
  3. Striking up a conversation with a girl
  4. Working a room
  5. Keeping a conversation going

Feel free to skip ahead.  Some of this is incredibly basic, but hopefully of value to someone. As my scout leader used to say: if I come back with just one kid alive, I’ve done my job.

Tip from @kevrichard on talking to folk you admire

I would let them know to start I respect them because of X and would love to learn more about them.

Jumping into the conversation (ie: joining a group)

RAFAH, GAZA STRIP - MAY 19: Palestinian refug...
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Let’s be honest, this is the hardest part. It’s like my grandma used to say: the hardest part of swimming is not sinking. Yeah, she was wise, grammy was. It really is the first that’s the hardest.

So here’s are the easiest steps:

  1. Find a physical spot: Groups tend to self-distribute (I found a mathematical formula for this, but even I’m not geeky enough to post it, heh), so the vast majority will automatically self-adjust once you stand about a foot beyond the group’s perimeter. Once it does, join the circle. Incidentally, this also works for dancing, but that’s for the advanced and really brave (read: drunk) geek.
  2. Make eye contact: Eye contact is your strongest weapon.  It doesn’t require any words,  doesn’t require you to do anything except look around the circle, when someone makes eye contact don’t look away and give a friendly nod. If you have to, practice this in front of a mirror until it looks natural.
  3. Dip your toe in: If you’re a funny person (and someone beside your mom has told you this), a quick quip will get you a laugh, and hence acceptance into the group. If you’re not, wait until you have something meaningful to say. If, after 3-4 minutes nothing comes up, ask a question. “Where are you guys from?” “Are y’all here together?” “Wow, did anyone else forget to bring deodorant?” are all acceptable questions to get things going.
My friend
Image by Scarleth White via Flickr

Now this assumes that the party isn’t too loud, that the group is fairly static, etc. If not, your task is harder. As a result, practice this at the convention center before you go to a party. Once you’ve successfully gotten in 4-5 groups, you’ll be ready to try this on the big fish in a hostile environment!

In a louder environment, everything is harder. To get into the group, you need to wait until a lull in convo, figure out if the group is “cliquy”, and be ready. The easiest way is the following steps:

  1. Enter group with your hand leading
  2. Nod at everyone
  3. Say “Hey, how’s it going?”
  4. Offer to buy everyone a drink
  5. Start chatting

Yes, just like with cheerleaders, alcohol opens many doors.

Tip from @massnet on being a good conversation partner

Ask questions, smile, give genuine compliments

Buying someone a drink (starting a convo with a single person)

n502742492_1541527_7102Okay, here’s the dirty little secret :want to talk to someone specific? Buy them a drink. There’s a social contract that they need to stick around to finish it. Note: this also means if someone buys you one, stick around to finish it.

By now I’m guessing you’ve grokked the steps?

  1. Walk up, stand roughly 2 feet away
  2. Say hi, and introduce yourself (if necessary, lean in to do this… if you’re not sure how, I’ve provided a picture to illustrate how this looks when the person is 3 feet shorter than you are)
  3. Say “I’m gonna grab a drink, y’want one?”
  4. Buy them a drink
  5. Come back, be charming, make intermittent eye contact, entertain them, don’t stare

Tip from Tess Rogers

Wear a name tag, offer to pour/serve food items if near buffet, wear a hat (trust me!), stand tall, make eye contact

Carrie Rodriguez, a SXSW 2007 performer
Image via Wikipedia

Striking up a conversation with a girl

Alright, so if you’re a guy,  sometimes talking to a girl can be hard. Especially if you’re a geek, unconfident, etc. I get that. Honest, I do. I was a total loser in high school, never felt confident, attractive, etc. I’ve found my confidence in the last year. I’m still an introvert, so I can  still be pretty shy, but yeah. It’s not as bad. So practice makes better. So here’s your practice drill for the first party, if talking to girls is hard. You must successfully complete this drill  10 times in order to pass. Failure is not an option. Like yoda said, there is no try, there is only do. Or something. That line always sounded slightly off to me.

  1. Walk up, per the above
  2. Make eye contact
  3. Introduce yourself, per the above
  4. Do not stare at any part of her
  5. Buy her a drink, if necessary, per the above
  6. Do not look at her assets (or at least don’t get caught - stealth ogling is only for the truly advanced geeks)
  7. Ask her about work
  8. Do not ask her if she plays WoW
  9. Ask her if she’s at southby with anyone
  10. Do not ask her if she has a boyfriend/girlfriend
  11. Do ask about cats, compliment on accessories/shoes, ask where she’s from, ask if it’s her first time at southby (if it isn’t, tell her you’re a n00b… if it is, empathize)
  12. Do not ask if she’s as nervous as you are (unless you can pull that off… some guys can)

Beyond that? Talk louder,  and treat conversation as a tennis match: everytime she says something you have to say something back  that engenders a response! Saying “yes”, “no” or anything that can be responded to with a yes/no/simple answer will only kill the convo. And trust me, if this is at a party, running away is harder than it looks. And will end up on YouTube.

Some other quick tips on girls from Tess Rogers

  1. Don’t assume most will want wine/spritzers/girly drinks. Some will want beer. But, don’t be surprised by the above. Only if you have great wit attempt to mock or jest any girly drink (typically contains “tini” in the name, with a fruit sound at the front of it).
  2. Its okay if the conversation flags a bit to just say, “Gawd! I am such a geek,” it will be enduring and good for a laugh (hers). And if you have said any thing totally stupid in the last few minutes this expression is like a ‘get out of jail free card’. But only use it once per girl.
  3. Sometimes a good opening conversation line can contain the obvious, but it must be accompanied by a huge, cheeky grin with a tilt of the head. Saying something like, “You’re quite tall for a girl,” can be obviously geeky but so cheeky that you are sure to get some banter going right away. But bring on that huge cute smile!
  4. Be nice. Start out conversation with a compliment. “Love your sweater. It has a great style. Where did you get it? My sister’s birthday coming is coming up and I could check it out for her.” Instant nice guy!!! Then you are right into the let’s talk about family convo which is pretty easy. Start with asking if she has brothers or sisters.
  5. Geeks usually have A.D.D or some hyper-nervous jumpy disorder. Rather than getting drunk to calm nerves, get doing something that moves you about – displacing freaky girl offending vibes. Offer to walk with her to smoking area if you see her reaching for smokes; she has an empty glass – offer to get her a new drink or glass of water; she is lugging a coat – offer to put it in coat check.
  6. Be honest. Girls can smell guy bullshit from miles away. If you open your conversation about why you are at the event – if its for business say its for biz, or to hang out with friends, or get some wanker’s autograph – just be honest and don’t jazz it up she will smell a fake. The only thing I would avoid saying if true is that you came to get wasted – this you can lie about – no gal wants to hear that!

Tip from @SuzeMuse on geek guys talking to her

Though, if I was single and a boy walked up to me and said he was a blogger, I might let him sit down next to me.

WASHINGTON - MARCH 28: First lady Laura Bush (...
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Working a room

If you’re an introvert like me, the very idea of working a room of 500 people is terrifying. So here’s the deal. Every room is actually a bunch of small groups, with folk flowing in between. So socially, you really only need to master 3 skills: entering/exiting/participating in groups, going with the flow of people throughout the room to get/give booze/go to the can/hurl over the side of the building if you fucked up when talking to a girl and knowing when to arrive/leave.

When moving through the room, don’t move through groups, follow the existing flow of people (just step in, but not between a guy and his girlfriend, southby is friendly but not THAT friendly). As you move along, make eye contact, smile, nod. If a group/person notices you, step out of the flow of people and say hi. Otherwise find a group that looks small/big enough for you, and follow the tips above. Rinse, repeat.

Dont’ feel you need to “touch” every group. If you nail 10 ish groups, you’ve done well. If you actually have convos with 5 of those groups, even better.

Shy Kids of Quake
Image by Edge of Space via Flickr

Generic Introvert Tips

Here are some generic introvert tips. Trust me, they help!

  • Wear your name badge (and make it legible)
  • Have a buddy (I’ve mentioned this before, but it can’t be stressed enough)
  • Talk to other folk who are alone (it’s slightly more intimidating cause you both have to contribute, but easier to get a convo going)
  • Drink … alcohol loosens you up, but not too much… slurring (contrary to what you’ll think at the time) is not sexy
  • Buy people drinks … it helps loosen them up
  • Take breaks (you’ll get tired, stand by the rail and listen to music)
  • Ask ROAD questions: Relationship, occupation, activites, drive (what makes them happy)
  • Have a 5 second answer/leadin to describe yourself (professionally and personally, so you’re ready for either situation)
  • Paraphrase what the person said
  • Ask questions when someone’s telling a story or talking
  • Practice active listening

Drinking Without Getting Drunk (and other core southby drinking skills)

DrunkDuck
Image via Wikipedia

Okay, so while you don’t have to drink at southby (and I have many friends who don’t and still enjoy it), it is a social norm so if you’re comfortable with it … do it.

However, if you’re not used to the pace, have a low tolerance or are a girl you’ll quickly find yourself drunk, hung over or worse.

First and foremost, just because you’re drinking, doesn’t mean you need to get drunk. Even if people are buying you drinks, you don’t need to get drunk! The biggest rule is order smart drinks. This is drinks that will either cause you to drink it slowly or have a low alcohol content.

Also, huge tip. Critical tip:

Do not, under ANY circumstance, drink Lone Star beer

… it’s a southby tradition, especially at Mix at Six, to make newbies try this as a “staple” … Now I’m Canadian so I hate american beer in general and often complain that it tastes like watered down goat piss … problem is, Lone Star DOES!

Just Friends album cover
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Drinks you can drink slowly include anything with serious bubblies, or that taste slightly tart. Tonic is great for this. Like vodka? Vodka/tonic is perfect for drinking slowly. If you’ve got a drink that is tasty and harder to drink slowly (a la rumb/coke), use the mini straw. It’s hard to guzzle through a straw that’s smaller than your urinary tract.

Drinks with low alcohol content? American beer. There, I said it. Order a coors, a bud, a molson (Canadian, but it’s really for americans). And order it light. It’s Texas, so nobody will mock you (except me).

Then, once you are drinking, stay hydrated. Between every 1-2 drinks, down a cup of water. It’ll keep you hydrated, which’ll stop you from getting hammered. Another sneaky tip is to hydrate while drinking. Tonic and lime looks like an alcoholic drink (especially if you get the little straw) so is perfect for a “recovery round” or for those who don’t drink.

If you do get drunk, avoid a hangover. When you get back to your hotel, take an advil/tylenol and drink SIX of the little hotel glasses of water. It’ll be hard and might make you want to hurl (generally a good thing at night, to avoid hangover). If you do hurl? Restart with 6 more glasses.

Quick Tips on SxSW

Before I sign off for the day, here are some quick tips for SxSW provided by some other fab folk!

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